nice footage!
lacking storyline. the teaser does not have a progressive flow leading to a climatic point. the first scene shows the lead lady looking distressed. the second scene shows the lead lady talking to some guy. the third scene shows the lead lady running to hug the co-star lady, like she is upset and needs consulting. the fouth scene shows the co-star kissing some guy and they both look at something. the fifth scene jumps back to what appeared to be happening in the second scene, lead lady talking to some guy. sixth scene shows the lead lady once again looking upset. the seventh scene shows the lead lady looking upset(as usual), and the co-star lady looking happy(as usual).
there is no story in this teaser, just nice filming ... and it IS nice footage mattias, something certainly worth being proud of. when you take and show in the fifth scene what was already shown in the 2nd scene, you have defeated any form of advance of the storyline/teaser. i would remove that. if you do not have enough coverage to tell the story, and cannot shot more film, then use an analogy, like a praying mantice eating her mate(stock footage pbs type of stuff, and naturally, i do not know what the storyline is, so i make mention to a praying mantice to compare a woman scorned to her man/mate). advance your story ... hook em, line em in, and pull em into the boat!! if you must use a scene that happened earlier in the story, then use it as a reminder, daydream, memory, etc., give reason for it's recall in that later part of the movie. if you post the screenplay for us to read, as well as your shot list, i would be happy to give you my take on how i would cut it together(as i am sure others would like to do the same!!). i am really curious how many scenes you have to work with, and how many usable takes per scene, and if you have applicable coverage shots, establishing shots, etc. for each change of sceneroy/environment, etc.
do you have an english version of the screenplay you could post for us to read? did you write it or just dop it?
the lead lady is over acting, and the co-star lady is under acting. does these gals have previous experience in front of a camera? if so, do you have footage of them in something else you could post here? if they pull it off in their previous work, then the problem here deals more so with the direction ... even with a poorly written screenplay, a good dop and director can at least make the story beleivable, even if the story sucks.
if you merely acted as DOP, then at least you did your job right(camera/technical). the actual director did not really accomplish anything in my opinon/review.
how many scenes in this movie do you have to work with as it relates to editing? do you have establishing, coverage, head shots for each scene?
personaly, i have found with my own filmmaking discovery process/journey, that it is best to practice/concentrate on creating the shortest story possible that has a hook, line and sink. mastering these then allows you to establish a healthy base, for which you can start creating more complex stories.
i am in the process of trying to complete the build out of a new home i recently sold, and perhaps i will be completed by the 15th of jan., at which point i will be able to edit a handful of shorts i have shot this past year. trial and error sequence. emotional rollercoaster sequence. battle/conflict sequence. emotionally cold, breaking down and warming up sequence. contridiction sequence. enlightenment sequence. humility sequence. denial sequence. i thinks that it. naturally, there are many many more human instances that play out well, and i intend on filming them when time permits. i acted in all of these myself, using tripod and remote. so admittedly the acting is not to par(i'm not an actor), but the story, direction, and photography seem to be in order. i had thought last year i was going to jump into making my movie and go happily into the sunset ... the technical aspects of filmmaking(getting good usable footage, like the footage you have for example), as well as the architectual aspects are items that simply cannot be ignored. they require understanding and lots of practice. looking a someone taking a shower, dropping the soap, bumping his head, slipping and falling down, etc., is at least interesting ... becuase you can follow what is going to happen(guess), and relate to what is happening, assuming it is actually happening ... or seemingly happening. if it is too contribed/acted, then the viewer cannot help but deduct how fake it is, and then make notice of how poorly the acting is, and so on. keeping it seemingly real is the KEY goal in filmmaking. and keeping it moving ... having a heartbeat that keeps pace with the action ... when thigns are calm, so is the cutting and timing of the scenes .... when action occures, so speeds up the cuts and timing of the scenes. practice telling simple little stories with cause and effect ... make these interesting to watch ... even if they are only 10 seconds long. for to watch something that is more then a few moments long that is of no interest to watch ... is something no one will watch ;)
none the less, good footage once again. i have found i do not like messing behoind the camera ... i like directing and acting better. however, i am forced ot act as dop/camera operator in my own filming as i have no one else who knows what they are doing. i would REALLY like to shot more films, but in order to do so i need a dop. if you are going to be in LA in the near future, and have a week or two to blow, you could come to cabo and we could make a couple of short films ... i have some interesting scripts i've written, which involve one and two princiapls ... very story driven, with little dialoge and lots of visual expression. i have 30 people working for me building homes, and so i can literally make up my sets in no time(i built a large stage/studio this last year). i have lots lighting, and plenty of pro great. again, i do NOT want ot be a DOP, i have figured this much out. i do like getting behind the camera, but i do NOT like having to be responsible for it, and i HATE changing film unless they are daylight spools in my little filmos/eyemos
eric