Dear Santa.....

[MovieStuff]

Dear Santa,

While most people want either
Peace on Earth
-OR-
a Red-Ryder-BB-Gun-with-a-Compass-in-the-Stock-and-a-Sundial-to-Tell-Time,
my holiday needs are somewhat different. I want my Super 8 to be, well, "super" again. See, Santa, once was at time when you could drop into any drug store or camera department, pick up a roll of Kodachrome II for about $3.00 and some change, shoot all weekend, and then companies like Photomat or Fox Photo would actually compete for your processing business, offering quick turn around of your mini-epic in about three days for the modest sum of $1.50. You'd race home (or as fast as your mom drove the stationwagon, anyway) all the while unspooling the film in the car and holding it up to the back seat window for an impatient peek at just a few frames of the previous weekend's efforts. If the film wasn't totally black and there was a recognizable image of any kind, you'd be busting at the seams to get it on the family home movie projector, positive that you had a hit on your hands. While the results were never on par with Lawrence of Arabia, they were dependably vivid, bright and steady and, in your mind, certainly as good as whatever you saw on Saturday afternoon television that inspired your emulation in the first place. I mean, there were two constants in the 1970's universe: Everyone could do a passable Steve Martin "Excuussse Meeee" imitation and anyone with a super 8 camera made at least one kung-fu movie. Ultimate dweebs like me would sometimes kick it up a notch with a combination stopmotion-creature-kung-fu movie. Art, no matter how you looked at it.

Oh, sure, there was the threat of something in the wind called Betamax; a newfangled videotape thingy for home use with its gigantic cameras and heavy, shoulder strapped cinder-block recorders (ironically called "porta-paks"). Like putting a handle on a Buick and calling it "portable". Yeah, right. In the words of Steve Martin, Excuussse Meeeee, but no self-respecting film maker was going to shoot video. Sheesh. Like that was going to go anywhere? We sneezed at Betamax and thumbed our collective noses at such an upstart medium. In fact, it strikes me that the threat of home video was one of the best things to ever happen to Super 8. While previous super 8 cameras of the 60's were mostly cheap, fragile, point-and-shoot affairs with limited capabilities, manufacturers like Canon, Elmo and Nizo -seeking to maintain supremacy in the home-movie turf wars- upped the ante with more and more features guaranteed to satisfy the gear-head in every family. Capabilities still decades away in home video were suddenly available at the push of a button in super 8. Instead of plastic Kodak boxes with cheesy lenses, the new generation of cameras were all shiny metal, sported precision lenses by respected manufacturers like Zeiss and Leica, and were loaded with features like lap dissolve, fade in and out, time lapse, slow motion and animation. You were nothin' if your camera couldn't at least do 18 and 24 frames per second. I can still remember reading and re-reading my brochure on the (sigh) much-coveted Bauer Royal C with that loooong, vertical, side photo of the timelapse flower and the multi-frame sequence of the eagle's eye lap-dissolving to that of the young, pretty, german girl with the blond hair, plaid skirt and ever-so-mod captain's hat (probably a grandmother by now!). Some cameras even had sound! Mannnnn-oh-man.

And the projectors, don't even get me started. We're talking about two tracks of audio with track to track transfer and sound-on-sound recording capability. Skywalker Ranch got nothing on me and my Elmo ST-1200 HD, baby. Or maybe even the GS1200 with stereo sound and a built-in 1f contact switch which, for the lucky few with a budget, would allow the use of fully synchronized super 8 fullcoat recorders from a mystical place to the north appropriately named (cue the ethereal chorus).... "Super 8 Sound"...in Cambridge, Massachusetts; obviously the mecca of serious super 8 production, where professors of the art no doubt collected in small groups and discussed the more serious aspects of feature Super 8 film production, all the while wearing roll-neck sweaters and smoking pipes, of course. (Doesn't everyone in Cambridge still wear roll-neck sweaters and smoke pipes?)

I'm tellin' ya, Santa, Super 8 was serious business way back when.

But things have changed, Father Christmas, and not all for the better. Trendsetters in Super 8 like Canon jumped on the video bandwagon, dropping their rugged line of super 8 cameras to make home movie video equipment for the common man. Nikon, Elmo, Nizo and other super 8 cameras, once holy grails of super 8 film making, have been relegated to the photo section of ebay where they are sold for a pittance of their original value and are used more often for internet ebay fraud than for film making. Even the legendary Beaulieu camera company went over to the dark side and released a least one video camera with their name on it. To be fair, Beaulieu did hold on the longest but has since ceased operation altogether (unless you count rebuilds of their original cameras). "Super 8 Sound" went Hollywood, changed their name to Pro8mm, and now cater to the music video industry with prices out of reach of most low budget film makers. Kodachrome, my poor beloved Kodachrome, has gone the way of the Do-Do with a grainy Ektachrome 64T pitifully trying to carry on the legacy with the Kodak name but without the pedigree. The much revered Kodak lab in Switzerland is being bulldozed to the ground, even as I speak, and only a tiny lab in an obscure Kansas town called "Parsons" carries on in a valiant attempt to provide processing for a film no longer manufactured. And while there are more and more negative stocks being released in Super 8, they aren't much use for projection and certainly don't yield the same excitement when you hold them up to the car window, ya know? I tell ya, it's enough to make a baby boomer cry.

So, Santa, here's what I want for Christmas:

I want.... the return of sound film.

Okay, okay. That's too unreasonable. Let me think, let me think.....

Alright, how about this, instead: I want a new super 8 projector. One with the pressure plate on the back side of the film, like a Beaulieu projector, so that the film stays in focus regardless of film thickness. Oh, and I want a super bright lamp that doesn't cost $10 an hour to use and I want at least 4 tracks of stereo audio by way of a built in solid state memory that can be loaded onto a Flash card for storage. And while we're at it, I want a new film stock that is ASA 500 with grain as fine as Kodachrome (come on Kodak, you know you guys have been sitting on that one for years now) and I want it in a new cartridge design with unlimited backwind capability that doesn't jump and jitter every 5 seconds. I want code key information on the edge of the film for easy synchronization of dual system sound with the projector previously described and I want a counter on each cartridge -not the damned camera- that tells me how much time I have left, not freakin' feet or meters (how useless is that, anyway?). And, finally, I want a new Super 8 camera, made of metal through and through, with removable prime lenses, in widescreen format with all the features denied us before, such as a built in pressure plate, pin registration, isolation sprockets, and ground glass focussing with a built-in video tap. And this all needs to be affordable for the average weekend warrior making films on shoestring, just like the good old days.

There might be more that I want but I can't think of anything else at the present. Besides, by the painful look on your face, I suspect your legs are going to sleep and the other kids are getting impatient for their turn in your lap. I will have to give this some serious thought and will have my attorney forward any addendum to your North Pole address by registered mail, just to make sure that you get it. Now, let's be clear, big guy: It's obvious we can't depend on Kodak to be the driving force any more for Super 8 so we're counting on you to make this happen. Screw requests for "Peace on Earth", because it ain't never gonna happen, and ignore all those bleeding heart, anti-sweat-shop human rights groups and get all those little Elf fingers working overtime as fast as they can because, dammit, I want this to be a Kodachrome Christmas and I don't care what the sacrifice. Got it?

Oh, and one more thing about the new Super 8 camera- if you can manage to include a compass in the stock and a sundial to tell time, that would be just swell.

Thanks, Santa.

Humbly yours,
Roger Evans

[marc]

Sounds like it is right out of " A Christmas story". I am glad this post was made in jest and written in a style that suggests a somewhat self depricating fantasy that your more reasonable and logical mind realizes will never happen. Because Roger, you are the one that crusades more than anyone about the reality that the layman's eye, which lacks the ability to discern quality, will begin to accept more and more the use of DV as an aquisition medium in feature productions. Not to mention your acceptance of that DV is getting better and might actually surpass film. But do not take my above statements too harshly. I am only making an observation!

[reflex]

Dear Santa,

Please listen to Roger. I hear he's a wicked shot with his little Red Ryder Carbine. I'd hate for something unfortunate to happen to Donner or Blitzen right before the seasonal rush.

Sincerely, Rocky Reflex

PS - I'd like the Buck Jones model, but I'm two bits short in my piggy bank. Could you chip in, Mr. Claus?

[VideoFred]

OK, folks..

I see what I can do.

Ho, ho, ho!

[JCook]

Dear Santa,

If Rogers requests are a bit too much to pull of this year, could you call up Kodak and have them release E100 in Super8 instead?

Regards, John

[super8er]

a fully rewindable cartridge that would fit in super 8 cameras wouldent really be that difficult to design.in fact i designed my own, to bad im about 40 years late to show it to kodak :lol:

[BolexPlusX]

You'll shoot your eye out, kid!

[reflex]

I'd settle for a new 16 mm camera with TTL viewfinder that supports c-mount lenses and is crystal synchronized. For less than $2500.

[Bolex Collector]

You'll shoot your eye out, kid!

:lol:

How about a nice football?

[BolexPlusX]

"The Old Man worked in obscenity like other artists work in oils or clay: a true master!"


"Randy fell on the ground like a slug! It was his only defense!"


(I like Thoreau, but enjoy Jean Shepherd a lot more!)

[MovieStuff]

"Fra-gee-lay....."

[BolexPlusX]

"-only I didn't say "fudge". I said the Queen Mother of all dirty words! The "F dash dash dash word!"

"Don't forget to drink your...Ovaltine!...Ovaltine?? A crumby commercial?! ...Sonuvabitch!!"

http://www.flicklives.com/

(This is the place!)

[flatwood]

I was standing in line to pay for a tank of gasoline and I noticed a kid about five staring up at me. I said in a stern voice,

Whatcha staring at kid?

His mom told me that the kid thinks that I'm Santa - large man with long hair, bushy white beard, go figure.

He keeps staring at me as his mom drags him out the door. I paid for my gas and the woman behind the register says,

Thanks Santa.

It made me wish that I was Santa. I might change a few things if I were.

Here's a few changes I might make:

1. Everyone puts up colored lights on their house.
2. Poor kids get the most.
3 All cookies left for Santa must be Pecan Sandies.
4 We have a huge banquet and everyone is invited.
5. I need more time than one night so Christams lasts all year!!!

[Muckymuck]

[quote="Bolex Collector"][quote="BolexPlusX"]You'll shoot your eye out, kid![/quote]
:lol:

How about a nice football?[/quote]

Football?! Football?! What's a football?!?! :D

[BolexPlusX]

"Nooooooo!!!! I want an official Red Rider 200 shot Range Model Air Rifle!"

"You'll shoot your eye out kid!" "Merry Christmas, kid!...Ho, Ho,....Ho!"

(Seen this a few too many times, I guess!)