Pacing and structure

[Evan Kubota]

My current project is inherently problematic - it covers 20 years in the life of a Japanese holdout after WWII in the space of 20 minutes or so. Obviously it would be difficult to do 20 one minute scenes, one per year. OTOH two long scenes may not have much breadth.

The current screenplay has one sequence in 1944/1945 and one in 1963. I'm considering revising that to include some intermediate scenes in the 50s, but I think some of the impact comes from the drastic difference in appearance and living conditions between the two periods. Showing a gradual change may not be as dramatic and would probably weaken the thematic elements as well.

Given the short time frame I don't think it will be possible to do anything other than a stripped-down treatment, but I still want to get across the sheer monotony of twenty years alone in the jungle.

Any suggestions?

[steve hyde]

...you know - one of my favorite high-concept films of the past ten years
is"Cast Away". I thought the filmmakers did an excellent job with the monotony and insanity of being alone. However this was the human process that the filmmakers were representing.

What is the process that you want to represent? What happens to your protagonist? What is the outcome of the story? What is the point that you hope to make salient? What are the questions driving your project?


Steve

[Evan Kubota]

How time weakens ideology. The way Japan's nationalism disappeared so quickly after the war is very interesting to me (and resembles postwar Germany in many ways). My grandfather served in the IJA and remembers being told to die for the country if it came to that. I guess it didn't.

Most of the real life castaways had various reasons for not surrendering - Onoda Hiroo is one of the most tragic, since he simply ignored anything stating the war was over and continued to live in the jungle and periodically attack villagers, killing over 30 of them in 29 years. This would be a pretty static figure to shape a narrative around - if the historical changes that rendered his ideology so outmoded could be concretized then it could work, but it seems difficult.

Others, like Yokoi Shoichi, stayed out of fear and shame. IMO these are the more sympathetic characters. Superficially their actions appeared motivated by ideology but it was really out of basic human instincts.

I liked "Cast Away" a lot until he returned to society. I realize the motivation for that shift but it was the weakest part, IMO.

The character in my project is initially ashamed, and his fear of death prevents him from revealing himself. Conditions get worse, and he eventually tries (and fails) to commit suicide. After almost twenty years he encounters a Japanese student who is able to convince him to return home. The film ends with him still on the island, awaiting the student's return with transportation to get him out...

[steve hyde]

....Then it sounds like your film is about shame.


So your scenes need to make a case for shame. How will you convince us that your character's shame is authentic? (some food for thought)

I wouldn't get lost in the historical details and ideology if your film is a character-driven piece. That is all peripheral to the story.

It sounds like your story is about a changing nationalistic attitude told through one man's experiences.

I suggest studying psychologies of shame. How is shame made? Map that and I bet you will find "structure".

Pacing is an atmospheric sense of place kind of question and should come after stucture IMO.

hope this helps,

Steve

[npcoombs]

I quite like the idea of one minute per year, consisting of one shot of something inconsequential but which cumulatively adds up to something more. This method also takes the strain off the actor a little. You sound like you are aiming for something less formal however.

Dividing the film into a 'before' and 'after' I feel is weak. I dont know why and I cant articulate it now but I have never seen this method done well. It always leaves a hammy taste in my mouth.

[Evan Kubota]

"I quite like the idea of one minute per year, consisting of one shot of something inconsequential but which cumulatively adds up to something more."

Now that I think about it, it's not a bad idea if executed well. You're right that I don't want such a formal structure, though.

At this point the scenes represent various intervals from three or four periods. I think this should be sufficient to sketch out the story arc and hopefully get across the breadth of events you'd encounter in twenty years.

[tlatosmd]

I'd oppose doing each single year in one minute, the idea rings too formal for a non-documentary to me.

On the other hand, and even though this might be a minor detail, how accurate will you be about contemporary clothing, hairstyles, etc.? I'd say it's something very essential for creating the right mood of authenticity.

[Evan Kubota]

As accurate as I can be... the character is in the forest, so his interaction with the world is limited. When he eventually meets a Japanese student on a hiking trip the clothing is '60s appropriate.

His hair also gradually goes grey... I need to find some temporary hair dye.

[audadvnc]

Shame is an outmoded concept. Ask the experts -

'Enron Executive: when asked by a reporter whether he would ever be able to admit to himself that he had committed crimes, Skilling said "No." When asked why not, he responded "I didn't.... We fought a good fight and we didn't get the verdict we wanted." '

[Evan Kubota]

"Shame is an outmoded concept. Ask the experts"

Corporate America is different from Japan in the 1940s